S.S.Essex. He stopped just before he stepped onto the deck and saluted theAmerican flag flying above the bridge. Even a Negro messboy like him wassubject to Navy regulations. Serving dinner to White officers hadn't beenwhat he had in mind, when he'd signed up in 1942, but, at least, he couldsay that he'd served on the Essex. Besides, his battle station was as aloader for one of the forward guns, so he _had_ seen action, too.Sam made his way to the storeroom near the galley that served as quartersfor the eight messboys. It was late enough that he wouldn't be needed tillmorning. He stowed the packages that he'd brought with him, some lastminute souvenirs, in his footlocker. Then he stripped down to his skivviesand climbed into his hammock.The Essex was just getting under way as he fell asleep. The ship would bein San Diego in a few days. Then it was "separation" from the Navy and along train ride back to Georgia. He had a question that he wanted to askEsther, the girl whose photo was. ” He was unconvinced but he smiled and said “sure.” He kissed me softly on the lips and said “I’m here when you need me.”That was ten months ago; ten months before life got soap opera complicated. I was now spending a lot of time with Deepesh again. After six months of marriage Jitu was working more late hours, the fire was dying and smoke was getting in my eyes. I kept trying to talk to him about it but all he would say was, “We’re fine” or “It’s a phase.”I came to the old apartment one night without calling. Deepesh answered the door and I said, “Hi handsome” and then I lost it. Through tears that felt like marbles I blubbered my tale of woe. My brother held me as it poured out. “Deepesh I may have made a mistake. I don’t know if I love him or if I ever loved him…but he’s been good to us and…” I didn’t say that one of the reasons I probably married him was that he had enough money to put Deepesh through College. “I can’t just walk out on him…but it’s not working and he doesn’t talk.
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